~ Confusion and doubt are always necessary preludes to clarity and strength ~
This year had started promising for me as most new years do I guess. We are full of hopes and energy to accomplish the things we have set out to accomplish. We plan out our year in advance, or at least I have to because of my business. About a week ago I sort of hit a road block that stopped me right in my tracks. I think I have been too focused on finishing tasks and being proactive that I have completely used up all my resources and energy. I have neglected the things that are near and dear to my heart and instead focused all my energy on the things that needed to be done. The German "superhuman" cannot waste her valuable time on idle pursuits! Oh no, one has to be productive. So by now my energy has run out, the engine overheated and the passion has left like the air thats been let out of a balloon. Time to re-organize and re-prioritize!
I had a conversation about this with a very dear friend of mine the other day and she said something that hit the nail on the head. She said she usually likes to see herself as this deeply connected being, and she likened it to being out in open space and everything is illuminated as far as the eye can see. A strong and determined woman that knows exactly where she going and what she wants, graced with clarity and piercing intuition. Yet lately she had been feeling anything but. More like a miner in a deep dark cave equipped only with a small lamp strapped to the forehead. The lamp only provides enough light for her to see her next step and that is it. And she is stabling about in the darkness using her hands and feet to find her way around.
I was totally there with her. I could relate. I was feeling the same way. Only she had the words to describe my, our predicament. Maybe it is the aftermath of the mercury retrograde. Maybe it is because its winter time and all I want to do is stuff my face with food or just cuddle up in bed with a good book and a cup of tea. It seems as though there is much shifting and changing in my life as well as the people who are close to me. Things changing internally that will affect the external of my life soon, although I cannot see the end result yet. Changes in the making.... In any case if there is anything that I have learned throughout the years of working on myself and clients, it is that times like these are necessary for our own personal growth. The tough times are our biggest teacher. We regularly go through phases of confusion and clarity in our lives. We need the confusion, frustration, fear, doubt and anger to help us know who we are. Only through the opposites are we able to know what clarity, strength, love, joy and excitement really are! For now this is what I am clinging to ;-) and you are welcome to do the same. I know it will get better.